Blog Update 26 October 2008
Ah fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck and double fuck….If my level of frustration was compared to the doomsday clock, we’d be waaay past midnight baby. The year is more than half way through and we still have 10 more vocals to do. I don’t know why I say the ubiquitous “we” either. It’s not we, it’s I. It is I who need to complete the rest of the songs. I against I against I. We have around 14 songs, and 3 are completed except for mixing – but it’s taking longer than we expected. This has mainly been due, as per usual, to the exigencies of the day jobs. Kim is now responsible for the day to day running of a business that has around 900 people in it, and the role he has taken on is still in its infancy as far as his learning the way the company works and so he has been very quiet of late. So quiet in fact that even though we work in the same building, (and he has to sometimes go to the other site of the company during the day), I have seen him twice in the last 4 weeks and both times it was a quick hi and bye.
As for me, I’ve been involved in a couple of what we call “bids” at work, where long hours are put in (more often than not), to estimate how long a job will take and what it’s cost would be and then issue it out as a response to a customer’s needs. In this case the customer is usually the Australian Defence Force, and they often release a request to companies to quote on how much it will cost to provide a particular requirement to meet their operational needs, and that is where the bid process comes in,. So somehow I got stuck on 2 consecutive bids, one straight after the other and very little free time in which to concentrate on vocals let alone recording them. And once those bids were over I inherited what’s considered to be one of the more difficult projects currently on the books with a particular emphasis on dealing with a very difficult customer. So I’ve been spending evenings coming up to speed on that project, plus had pre-contract negotiations for another project which has now thankfully started but has a tight 9 month duration, at the end of which we are supposed to produce a little device that can be stuck onto an aircraft to record all its vibration spectra as it performs its manoeuvres, and can also record all the accelerations and roll rates etc of the payload involved in a “store separation”, you know, as in “aerial ordinance” – ok ok, let’s say what it really is…bombs. Hey, planes drop bombs you know so what are you going do? May as well help get better accuracy and help decrease collateral damage, (my apologies for using doublespeak, what I meant to say was help stop blowing defenceless woman and children and other innocent non-combatants into vapour – the pink mist….). Doublespeak is used a lot in defence, euphemisms that disguise or lessen the impact of their real meaning. Like “servicing the target”, which really means killing a whole bunch of people, or “enhanced interrogation” for torture.
Anyway, I digress as per usual…so I’m really busy at work and also busy at home catching up on work. How great it would have been to have had some success with music that would allow a life that revolved around recording and writing full time rather than trying to fit two disparate careers together which don’t even have the slightest overlap with each other. Even the brain uses different sides to approach each separate activity. On the one hand I tell myself there is no hurry with this album; we are under no contractual requirement to have it ready by a certain time – on the other hand though I want to complete it so we can get back out there and play and do the one thing that has any real meaning to me. (of course I love my family and all but playing is one of those peak experiences that are hard to forget and that I seek to repeat for all its many cathartic reasons).
You know, when I was younger I was a selfish prick. Now I think I’m probably just a prick, but back in the day my mantra to any girlfriend went something like “…the band comes first – I need you to understand that. If you ask me to choose between the band or you, the band will always come first…” In retrospect I guess I could say I was dedicated to the core, committed – or I could say that I was just young and arrogant with a wildly romantic point of view about the value of music and what TMOC stands for. Now that I’m old(er), I’ve learned that compromise in terms of time is important, especially when family is involved. But this still doesn’t solve the problem here – I need time, time and time – I need a benevolent society to offer to pay my mortgage for 6 months while I complete the album. What a great idea…In the good old days we called such a scheme “the dole” and it paid the rent rather than the mortgage – viva le democracy!!! Viva the welfare state….and fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck and double fuck.
This is an apology and an affirmation of sorts. I hereby commit myself to complete the new album by the end of the year 2008. I shall not falter. I will go without sleep in order to achieve my objectives and dose up on huge amounts of methamphetamine in order to complete the mission…I will not insert smiley faces after an obvious joke has been typed….For those of you who have waited this long for our next offering, please do not give up hope – remember Friedrich, our main man’s phrase…”that which does not kill us makes us stronger…” and “…given a big enough why, people can bear almost any how…”. My immense frustration in this process is almost eclipsed by my anger in not being able to better control this whole situation – so I must remind myself to let chaos rule supreme, and somehow I know it will work out. Thank you for your time.
John R Scott, clear.
Since this missive was written Kim and I managed to talk for a solid 15 minutes face to face and have committed going back to Monday and Tuesday nights at the recording studio come rain, hail or divorce proceedings. I’ll take in all the ideas I have for the songs and just croak’em out and then start to evolve them towards their finished state…by the way, I keep having this recurring dream where tmoc are supposed to play some show and we get there and realise that we haven’t had time to rehearse any of the new songs and can’t remember how any of them go…in one variation of the dream the other band members aren’t Kim and John but some other 2 people who have stayed out all night partying and haven’t slept for 24hours and they turn up to the gig tired and wasted – I end up cracking a mental (that’s an old phrase…) and end up head-butting one of them in the face and he goes down bleeding all over the place and someone says to me, I think its our manager Tim, “well, that’ll teach him” and of course we end up not playing (which is just as well). Interesting huh.